How I became a women's cricket fan

It is when you aren’t looking for anything particular that you find the extraordinary. Once in a state of boredom, I switched on the T.V. to see Usain Bolt break the world record. It wasn’t planned, I didn’t know he was running, or that it would be televised. It’s just one of those where were you? Moments.

It is kind of the way that I started to follow women’s cricket. I was the day of the World Cup final at Lord’s. It was the first I had known of the tournament, and there was England in the final against New Zealand. It was an aspect of cricket that I had known nothing about. It wasn’t something that was on television, or in the newspapers, although the 1994 Wisden comments on the ‘excellent media coverage’ much of which I was oblivious. There was no internet to follow scores or social media to help get to know the players better, no one to bounce opinions off.

I was sold there and then. It didn’t matter that these weren’t men, I didn’t see a difference in terms of the competition. I couldn’t care less if the bowlers weren’t bowling at 90 miles an hour, or that the ball wasn’t clearing the boundaries. It is an argument I’m still making to this day to people who are dismissive of a game that is improving rapidly and with an event like the Big Bash and Kia Super League will only prove the quality of those pioneers that are taking the game into a professional era.

Before the time that all the home fixtures at least started to be covered by Sky Sports, it was as I’ve stated before hard to follow women’s cricket. That has of course been partly my fault. Some of it has been down to where the games have taken place at international level. I could have sought out the county game better. As I write this I have only ever been to two Sussex women’s games (more of which later.)

My first live experience of the England side was in 1998, an ODI between England and Australia. A month after my last GCSE exam I went to Hove. I would only be able to stay for the first innings as I had to take my sister to a school play that evening. The England side had a few of those world cup winners, Jan Brittin, Barbra Daniels, Clare Taylor (not to be confused with Claire Taylor, who was 12 on the scorecard) the wicket keeper Jane Smit, and captain Karen Smithies. There was also a young opener by the name of Charlotte Edwards who would become a truly household name.

Australia had won the toss and had chosen to bat and little did I know then just how good their batting line-up was. Belinda Clark, Joanne Broadbent, Lisa Keightley, Karen Rolton, and Mel Jones. Broadbent and Rolton both made half centuries.

I missed England fall 35 runs short, and also the chance to see just how impressive a bowler that Catherine Fitzpatrick was. I was on the verge of going away for the summer to work and prepare for college. Moving to Mansfield for the summer meant that I would be away from Sussex but not from cricket. It meant that I was near enough to Worcester to go to a day of the Women’s test match there.

It was overcast all day but I don’t remember it being cold. It was my first time in a new part of the country. I arrived at the ground just in time for the start of play, no time to explore the cathedral or the rest of Worcester. The crowd was also different to the ones I was used to. It was younger and there were more women around. It was friendly and I soon got into the day's play. England was in the process of having its tail put up a small amount of resistance. On the scorecard, I put England’s score down as a rather exaggerated 414 when they had in fact mustered 243 all out.

I only saw three Australian’s bat that day Keightley (50), Clark (136) and Rolton who finished the day on 97 not out, this after there were at least three extra overs bowled over than scheduled. I went to the wrong railway station on the way back and had to sprint to the other to catch the last train home. This after promising I would get the train before.

I was determined not to let England be the only team I would go to watch. When I got back home I found out that Sussex had a friendly against Derbyshire and I was going to go. I missed the bus and ended up getting the train instead even though it was cost ten times as much.

I got to the ground and they only had one umpire, to which for some reason volunteered with ‘I’ll do it’. I can’t believe they agreed to it. So there I was having only done a spot of umpiring in school games in the middle of a county match, albeit a friendly. I was given some good guidance from the other umpire. I turned down an lbw appeal from a Sussex bowler that I still wonder if turning it down was the right thing. I was paid £10 which just covered the cost of my travel expenses, so I can’t have been that bad at it. I couldn’t do it again. It wasn’t until 2015 that I saw Sussex play again.

It was the same summer job that allowed me to watch England the following year at Trent Bridge in and ODI against India that went down to the final ball with captain Smithies scoring an unbeaten 110 after Clare Connor had taken three wickets to restrict India to 220.

I didn’t get to another women’s game until 2006. A combination of being nowhere near where the games were being staged and a combination of work and university meant opportunities to get to any form of cricket was limited.

2005 had given Women’s cricket a higher profile, England games were given more prominence, and the players even got to take part in the open top bus ride around London with the men who had also won the Ashes that year.

That optimism didn’t seem to continue into the next year. With T20 finals day becoming an event in the men’s domestic calendar I booked that week off work. It coincided with the women’s test match at Leicester. I would be able to go to all four days. On the walk to the ground every morning I was passed by the coach carrying the England side.

Getting into the ground you would barely have noticed that this was an international fixture. The small crowd was made up mainly of friends and family of the England side. There were no more than a dozen Leicestershire members, although among them was Lewis. He was a well-known figure at Leicester and even had his own catchphrase, ‘I’ve got me Brandy.’  

The game didn’t explode into life until the final day when England declared during the lunch break leaving them two sessions to win it. India held on with two wickets at the end, as fresh gloves and extra jumpers were brought on the field. With three of India’s top four dismissed for ducks England would have been disappointed not to have won.

Two Sussex players made their England debuts during that game. Laura Marsh, a fast bowler. The other was Sarah Taylor, someone who would come to score plenty of runs for England. It is her wicket-keeping that has made headlines and there are plenty examples to view on YouTube. It hasn’t come without setbacks and is currently taking her second break from the game.

The test was over, I went to thank Edwards for a fabulous and nearly tripped over a batting helmet at the same time. I also seem to be wearing a Sussex shirt whenever I meet her, which she always points out about Kent being better.

It was by accident that I became a volunteer at Trent Bridge for the World T20 competition in 2009. Looking for tickets for the England v Scotland warm-up game there was a notice looking for volunteers. Myself and a friend signed up and we got access to all the games at Trent Bridge. I don’t remember much about those games, but it did get me tickets for the finals day at Lord’s. We would do a lap of the ground to show the importance of those that helped make the competition possible.

England were in the final after beating Australia in a tense semi-final at The Oval. A game that has been cast as an example of just how exciting the women’s game can be. The final was more straight forward and England were busy celebrating while I got ready for my cameo appearance.

This was only months after England had taken the ODI World Cup in Australia. Having seen Laura Marsh make her England debut as a fast bowler, it was odd to see her now bowling spin, albeit very well. It just showed how out of the loop I was.

In between then and 2012 I had continued to follow the team on the radio and television. The coverage was getting better and under the stewardship of Charlie Dagnall and Ebony Rainford-Brent, I would listen while traveling all over the country. Their enthusiasm for the game is infectious, something that I have tried to install in my niece.

I took her to her first game when she was only a year old. I had won tickets for a T20 international at Arundel against West Indies. I got her a programme and helped her to get it signed by all the players, they couldn’t have been better with her. Edwards took the longest with her, asking her questions, while my niece waved her Sussex flag.

It was a game that showed signs that West Indies could become a force in the game, and it came as little surprise when they won the World T20 earlier this year.

England didn’t have a good time at the World cup the year after the trip to Arundel, they never really got going and went out fairly early. The teams that they had beaten easily a few years before had played catch up and in the case of Australia had overtaken them.

The men’s Ashes series of 2013/14 was going so horrendously that, even those that had never followed women’s cricket were looking to Charlotte Edwards and her team for some of the hope. Which is exactly what they delivered. The test match of the series was one that swung one way then the next. It was a low scoring game where Australia’s first innings total of 207 was highest of the game.

With a points system weighed in favour it was going to take something for Australia to take the Ashes series. They won two of the three ODIs. It wasn’t a surprise when England won the first T20 to win the series.

While England’s players were being paid to be ambassadors by Chance to Shine, it showed just how important women’s cricket was becoming to the ECB when they were rewarded true professional status after the successful Ashes series.

It was everything that the players deserved. With more money being generated from television money, it was only right that some of this was shared around the game. When England won the world cup in 1993 it was still seen as okay by the MCC to omit women members from Lord’s, now here they were 21 years later becoming part of the mainstream.

That isn’t to say that Women’s cricket gets the respect it is due. During the 2015 Women’s Ashes, I spent half a day arguing with a Derbyshire fan why an International match was more important than a Derbyshire versus Yorkshire Royal London One-Day Cup game. It would, after all, have been better for his county if he had attended the game in the flesh.

That series also raised the issue of whether the women’s game benefited from test matches. England had lost their first test as a professional team the year before to India, under far more scrutiny than there had ever been. It was put down to a blip, a team still getting used to their new status.

The Ashes test was different; it was a dour affair under leaden skies. There were people watching that were not used to the way that the women’s game worked. Yes, there were arguments to be made that a professional side should be looking to score runs faster and look to take the initiative. It was unfortunate that is wasn’t a greater spectacle but then the same things had been said about the men’s side in the last couple of years.

This was the only game I had made of the series. I was in Sussex for the T20 Blast quarter-final the night before, a game that David Willey won single handed. I had won tickets for the test at Canterbury thanks to a competition on the Kia twitter page. Kia are a company that has taken women’s cricket to its heart, being a sponsor independent of the men’s side as well as sponsoring the new women’s super league.

I picked my tickets up and was checking them when a woman approached me asking where she could get tickets as her friend needed one. I had a spare ticket so I said she was welcome to use it. “She used to play for England, I don’t know if you have heard of her. Enid Bakewell.” I was a little surprised but I knew who she was. A woman born in the next town over from the one I was born in, she is considered one of the best all-rounders.

I gave my ticket over and thought nothing on it as she went off with her friend. I the afternoon, as the rain fell steadily she came and joined myself and the other competition winners in hospitality, we were entertained with stories of her playing all over the world. The others were surprised that I had only met her that morning but enjoyed the experience. Though shocked that former players weren’t looked after a bit more.

So it was a shame that there was so much negativity around that match. There were moments of really exciting cricket, but people want high scoring games apparently. Paul Allott was coming out with nonsense like shorter pitches and lighter balls, and better judges of the game were calling for tests to be scrapped altogether. There should be more not less. T20 is a good introduction and list A cricket is entertaining but players need to be tested over a number of days.

It will come, maybe not in the next ten years or so, but then if you had told me the health of the game after that test at Leicester in 2006, it would be hard to believe.

The rise of professional leagues like the Women’s Big Bash and the Kia Super League are a good start. They raise the standards of the players just below international level, which if like England the only professionals are those who play for England, this is only a good thing.

The Kia Super League was a successful tournament, in the sense that no one knew what to expect. The crowds were good. I went to the first game played in the competition at Headingley as the Yorkshire Diamonds, took on Loughborough Lightning. There were people waiting for the gates to open and populated by a mix of ages and genders. This wasn’t just family and friends but people who wanted to watch good cricket.

As Sussex didn’t have a team in the competition and not willing to support a Southampton based team: for many reasons, Loughborough would be the team I adopted. I took my mum and she enjoyed the experience; not a traditional cricket supporter (her last game had been 20 years before), she got into the spirit of things and there we were two Loughborough fans in a fairly partisan crowd, which she liked all the more.

I went to the next Loughborough game, a home game against Lancashire Thunder. It was professionally managed and the entertainment was spot on. Loughborough looked well out of the running, until Thea Brookes and Paige Scholfield took the game down to the last over, made all the more nerve racking sitting feet away from Brookes family.

This was what part of this competition was about, giving those players just under the international places the chance to prove that they could mix it with the best. They were not the only ones but then again they weren’t playing for Loughborough.

In a lot of ways, much of the support and willingness to access the Kia Super League was not under assessed at the outset. It is dangerous to use the Big Bash as an example of how to do things (just ask some of the county sides), but they had televised the event and got good figures. The future of the tournament needs to be on free to air television. I don’t think it will detract the numbers going to games.

Clare Connor said that she was really pleased with the number of boys that were going to games because it was important to the future that they saw women playing cricket as ‘normal’. This, as I have stated, has been something that I have grown up with. There are times when your motive for watching women’s cricket is questioned, but never by anyone at the games I have been to and if anything my support has been welcomed.

I want my niece to see that she can achieve anything she puts her mind too. That might not be in the world of cricket, but I hope to give her a number of examples of women who have done just that.

Last year I finally went to my second Sussex Women’s game. I had meant to be playing cricket all day that day, we lost so heavily that when I got home I had enough time to get a bus up the road where Sussex were playing Nottinghamshire at their base of Welbeck Cricket Club. Sussex won, I came away thinking that I can’t leave it so long before the next time I see them again. Maybe one day I will watch my niece play for them. But then again it’s her choice.

My Sussex supporting origins

Have you not ever felt the urge to write

Of all the cricket that blessed your sight?

Is there no inspiration in the names

Of those that play our best of summer games? (Blunden, 1945)

1993 seems to have been a big year for me, it was the year that the sporting teams I would support for the rest of my life were firmly marked. I remember the day that I became a Norwich City supporter, I remember that feeling of finally having a team I could call my own. A team that whenever people I know hear them mentioned, it was me they were thinking about. I had dabbled with a number of different clubs, like Sheffield Wednesday but they never felt right. I mention this because it is rather more difficult to pinpoint when I started to support Sussex.

I was at one stage just happy to watch what was ever on T.V., which for the major part was England. There was one game from every round of the Nat West Trophy. This meant that it was down to good fortune who I would get to see. I remember teams like Northamptonshire and Worcestershire; who had an early favourite player of mine Graeme Hick.

There was a time when I would have associated myself with Hampshire, it is where I had spent most of my early life, before moving back for a second spell in the town I was born. Hampshire had players like David Gower, Robin Smith, Mark Nicholas, and Malcolm Marshall; It was an exciting possibility. I lived in the county borders, but Southampton was a world away from Havant, with its connections to Portsmouth it was never an easy alliance to make.

That isn’t to say I didn’t have some form of link with Sussex, I had lived in Crawley. It was a stop gap on the way back to Havant. In that year and a half or so, cricket had gone from something that I had a keen interest into a full blown obsession.

I was aware of Imran Khan, who had been a Sussex player. I wasn’t to know that he was never to play for them again. What I did know was that he was one of the world’s leading players. A rapidly quick bowler and hard hitter with the bat. He had just helped Pakistan win the world cup. I had been given a coaching book he had written one Christmas, it had photos of him in many text book poses, and I would look through it over and over again. I took it everywhere, even using it to show American tourists on a train from Gatwick Airport just how amazing this game was. I still have it and the curled up corners, and indentations of writings long forgotten about mark the front cover.

We eventually moved back across the Hampshire border, leaving friends behind. I know why we moved but I guess by becoming a Sussex fan I was clinging onto a sense of belonging, a sense of identity. I left with tears in my eyes as, fearing I would never come back.

Like most people with a passion for sport, it all started with a family member. My great-grandad was a cricketer and umpire, who died a long time before I came on the scene. My great-grandma lived on the bottom floor of a block of flats, surrounded by a huge garden and a park at the top.

It was the focal point for the family. We would visit most days; initially on holidays and then when we lived in Mansfield. It was strangely at a time when most sports were on free to air television. Sky sports had yet to corner every market. Most days on the t.v. that was only being half watched was some sporting event or another, snooker, athletics, horse racing, football and cricket.

It was the room I watched my first F.A. Cup final; Manchester United versus Crystal Palace. It was a place where the family would meet for tea on a Saturday afternoon. The living room would fill up with aunties, uncles and smoke. It would get too hot. The kids, consisting of me my sister and a cousin, would play in the bedroom, bathroom, or the big field outside. We would play our own games of football and cricket. Or go to the park and play on the playground.

It was at this park that I met kids slightly older than me who actually liked cricket.  They were two brothers, both at the middle school, while I was at the first school. They were surprised to see me when I went on a school trip to see the school we would move up to. Apart from the fact I knew, I wasn’t going to that school and we were moving back down south.

It was over the course of these days at my great-grandmas that cricket became part of the consciousness. It took a while to pick up the rules; it took even longer to be certain of the fielding positions. My great-grandma watched keenly, most of the time. A selection of England players would come out to bat and soon disappear, to the disapproval of my grandma. On more than one occasion this would lead to an ‘oh you bugger’ slipping form her mouth, only to turn around and see me, much to the amusement of my mum.

It was difficult to get my school friends to show any interest in cricket. I took a bat and ball to play in the playground, although it was soon stopped by teachers who saw it as dangerous; more to do with a swinging bat than a rouge tennis ball. So it was back to being pinned to the floor and having my pants pulled down, in front of the girl everyone had a crush on. She did get that one boy to stop doing it, as she wasn’t impressed by it.

I started to collect any articles I could find on the sport. Unburdened by any affiliations I could read without bias. However, it was limited to copies of The Sun which my granddads bought. It wasn’t long until I moved on to The Times and The Daily Telegraph with their coverage of the county game in some detail. I would even rummage through the newspapers at school that had been donated for painting time. Fellow students would bring me anything with a cricketer on. I had started to get a bit snobbish, they are only ‘club cricketers’.

I started to read about Worcestershire who had Graeme Hick and an ageing Ian Botham. Even players such as Steve Rhodes, Stuart Lampitt, Tim Curtis, David Leatherdale and Tom Moody. They were a good one-day side and must have been on television a fair bit. Worcester seemed to be so far away. It is a decent journey even now.

 I got to see these players close up in my second ever game. A Sunday League game at Portsmouth, on a gloomy day I followed Hick around the boundary edge, eager but silent hoping for his autograph. One of the supporters, gave me an encouraging ‘go on ask him’ at the fall of a wicket; to which I could only whimper a ‘Hick’. It was in a shy reluctant way in which he turned and signed my autograph book.

They were in a number of one-day semi-finals and finals, as were Northamptonshire. When Northants beat Hampshire in the semi-final of the 1990 NatWest Trophy by 1 run I cried. Not that I would cry at a Hampshire defeat now-a-days.

 Another NatWest Semi-final that sticks in the memory was the following year when, Northants again played Surrey. It had gone into a second day, and Surrey defending 208. It was the first time I was aware of Waqar Younis, he ran in with such venom and it was thrilling to watch as he dismissed five of the Northants line-up, every close chance he would clench his fists and grind his teeth so often, he was soon nicknamed Gnasher in our house.

Shakeup at Sussex expects results

At the end of the 2015 season Sussex were relegated in deflating style at the hands of Yorkshire, coupled with a surge of form from Hampshire. It was a different mood from the start of the season where they were some people’s outside tip to win the LV= County Championship.

Disappointing exits in both the Royal London One Day Cup, and blasted out of the NatWest T20 Blast by an extraordinary innings by David Willey meant that the south coast club came away with nothing.

There is change in the air at Hove this year, with the retirement of Michael Yardy, Luke Wright replacing Ed Joyce as captain in all formats and Mark Robinson leaving as coach to take on the challenge of the England Women’s side. Mark Davies steps up from the second team to coach the first team, while Keith Greenfield will become Sussex’s first director of cricket.

With the tragic death of Matthew Hobden at the start of the year left the club in a state of shock. Hobden was such a promising young player who could have thrived in Division Two of the Specsavers County Championship.

The restructuring of the County Championship from 2017 means that there is only one promotion spot available. Sussex will be expected to challenge for that one spot but the likes of Worcestershire will be close challengers.
There is a feeling that a number of the younger players will get a chance to challenge for first-team places, with an emphasis to improve form in the limited- overs arena. There is no reason that this cannot be achieved.

With Steve Magoffin now qualified as an English player Sussex have been able to recruit an extra overseas player and in Ross Taylor signed up for the first half of the summer it looks like they will have added strength in the batting department which has seen the loss of the experienced Yardy.

The fact that Murray Goodwin is back as batting coach will see a focus on scoring not only a large amount of runs but runs when they matter. With the likes of Ed Joyce, Chris Nash and Luke Wright they have players of doing just that. Last year was a breakthrough season for Ben Brown who was even mentioned as a possible candidate to take the gloves for England.

The signing of Danny Briggs will strengthen the spin department that has never fully replaced Mushtaq Ahmed. It feels a little unlucky on Will Beer. Beer is a match winner in white-ball cricket but has not really been given the opportunity in the championship.

On the bowling front much will rely on the fitness of a number of bowlers, Tymal Mills will be limited to the short forms of the game as the pressures of four-day cricket is not good for his back. Ajmal Shahzad showed in the small amount of cricket he was able to play that he is a real asset. Much will depend on James Anyon regaining fitness as he is a good strike bowler who takes wickets at regular intervals, if not a little expensively.

One real find last season was Ollie Robinson, who was really on his final chance in county cricket, over perceived attitude problems. He scored a hundred batting at nine and took a bucket full of wickets. There may be hopes that George Garton the England under-19 player will be the next player to make their impact at Hove this summer.
In terms of bowlers in T20 there is the signing of Mustafizur Rahman the Bangladeshi pace bowler who has impressed in a much improved Bangladesh team.

So while there are a number of intriguing questions to be asked about just how well Sussex will consolidate and improve, much will be expected of them in the championship even though it will be more difficult with the restructuring on the county championship for 2017.

County Cricket is back!

It wasn’t long ago that the traditional curtain raiser to the county cricket season was staged in front of a sparse crowd at Lord’s as the MCC take on last year’s county champions. Things have moved on. Abu Dhabi now hosts the game and last season a pink ball was used.

There is a special breed of person that looks forward to another season of county cricket. Some may not venture into any of the countries county grounds, some may follow it in the daily paper and others on the internet, but their passion isn’t any the less because of it.

Last year I started this website with the intention of covering as much of the county season as possible. This died a death rather quickly as new ventures came to the fore. I want to revive it. But with a different intent. I will update when possible maybe not as in-depth and missing games that you would figure have more prominence. Some of it will be from games I have been to, watched on television or read about.

One thing you get will be my opinion. I don’t support a county with a test venue for a ground but I wouldn’t have it any other way. You may get fed up with my opposition to Franchise T20 in this country, but that is the way I see things.

So, for now, what am I looking forward to this season?

1.       The new Specsavers County Championship – A new sponsor means it will take a while to get used to. But the same intrigue will be there. Can Yorkshire make it three from three? Who will go down? And who will come up? With only one team being promoted ahead of a shift in the structure of the county season from 2017, it will be a hard fought season with a Worcestershire and Sussex heading the queue.

2.       England – The rebuilding of a young side continues, and it is an exciting prospect. With Sri Lanka and Pakistan, the two touring sides will offer some interesting battles, which England would expect to do well in. There are still places up for grabs at the top of the order which will keep things interesting.

3.       England Women – A new coach in Mark Robinson and a new intent about an already talented line-up will be looking for more consistency that saw them lose last year’s ashes series.

4.       Women’s Super League – After the success of the WBBL over the winter, it will be interesting to see how a first franchise style league plays out in this country. It will also hopefully help grow the international talent pool outside of the centrally contracted players.

5.       Ireland – I have followed the Irish side for a while now and am a big advocate of more opportunities for the associate nations.

6.       Sussex – I am a big Sussex fan, so I will always have something to say about how they are getting on. I will be at Northampton to see them kick-off their county championship season of April 10^th. It is a time of rebuilding. Much is still expected of the side captained by Luke Wright.

What kind of day has it been

“You’d think we’d get loads of famous people through here. To be honest I can’t say I’ve heard of many. We had the king through here the other the other week.”

“Really” I didn’t really know who she was talking about but I thought it was only polite, especially to someone putting makeup on your face, probably best to humour them. After all you didn’t want to look an idiot on T.V., “Stephen Fry?” I asked, after all who gives off more of an impression of royalty in the dumb?

“Yeah that’s the guy. Really charming. I’d really like Danny Dyer just once, but Mr Shakespeare won’t let him. There is never anybody good on this show. I know who you are you were on that celebrity Ready Cook weren’t you? I’d heard this before, I’ve got that sort of face people think they recognise by can’t place.

“Sorry I’ve never been on it. I’ve been on this show about a dozen times. I always ask for you.” This was yet another platitude.

“Oh you are silly we’ve never met” I had been modest and had been a regular on the show for five years and shoe had done my makeup every time. But no one remembers me. Not that I mind sometimes you want to walk down the high street without people gawping, asking if you are the bloke off the telly or just harangued with nothing but abuse that people pass off as banter.

“I was on Celebrity Mastermind maybe you saw me on that?” I didn’t expect her to have seen it she was probably always drunk by seven. It’s like you’ve got to be drunk to be interesting, maybe it’s why pub quizzes are so popular.

“That’s it! You were the one that got that question wrong, the one about Peter Andre. My friends thought you were really stupid. I mean who doesn’t like Peter Andre. He is so lovely and smart. Such a good dad.” As if she had ever met him. Know the lengths of this show was going towards dumbing down he she probably had.

No one ever remembers the winners of these celebrity shows though. Not that I’m though. Those who do know me, know me for having an opinion. It does mean that people listen though I suppose. Not that this woman would ever have the faintest idea of what I was talking about even in I explained it with diagrams. She was now wearing that expression that she was thinking about something complex on how to improve more or less the only arts show on television her manifesto would have included Neil Buchanan on every week as an expert on paintings and stuff.

“That Russell Brand he is smart isn’t he? The way that he uses all those long words as well. He know politics as well, and really funny. Such a nice man. We have him on here all the time and he always remembers my name and takes the time to get to know you. He should be mayor of London or Prime Minister or something.” So she remembers charmer Brand but not an intellectual like myself.

“You never know, stranger things have happened.” I had to cut her off before she said something about Jeremy Clarkson being just as good a choice. That was all I ever heard in pubs. Some big hairy geezers saying “don’t get me started on that climate change bollocks.” As if they have participated in years of research on the subject.

“Yeah I’d vote for him any day of the week. He is good so looking as well. I like how I get to make sure his chest hair is looking lush.”

Your job does have its upsides then? That should change the subject for a bit.

“I guess so.” She said with a glumness that suggested she was thinking of something deep and meaningful. “They probably want to ship it out to India.”

“That would be a shame.” Sometimes it’s just easier to let these comments go by, as correcting it takes too much time, time that you will never get back, but bugger it. “How would they…”

“Three minutes Matt” A voice belonging to the studio runner had come to rescue.

“Well it was nice meeting you.” I got up from my seat taking the tissue out of my shirt collar when the make-up woman stopped me.

“Missed a bit” she said pulling the chest hair I had out with what felt with the force of a tornado. It took the breath out of me and if it was for the impatient runner I would have taken a minute to gather my thoughts.

“There he is,” said a familiar voice coming from around the corner, Liz Brydon, she had been the presenter of the review show we were about to do for years. I don’t have many friends in television but if I had to choose my closest it would have to be Liz, “we thought you had got lost.”

“Nah, I was just being physically assaulted by your make-up person. So what have you got lined up for us tonight Liz?” When I usually asked this question she would go through the line-up that showed her real passion for the show, however trivial.

“Yeah she is a bit hands on but if we sacked her Brand would be on the warpath, and you know how he gets when the people are being oppressed.”

“That doesn’t sound good.” This didn’t elicit much of a response and I thought I knew why. You’re going to be talking about Andy van Gust’s new film aren’t you?”

“Look,” Liz said in a tone that was eminently defensive “it wasn’t my idea. You know it’s important and we can’t not cover it. “

“Shit, I was only joking. You know I can’t promise to be on my best behaviour.”

“THIRTY SECONDS” a voice rang out. The small whispers of the production team fell silent like soldiers on night duty.

“Good evening and welcome to Review Weekly, on tonight’s show we will discuss the new work of Graham Kindrick’s new provocative painting, we will get reaction to comments by author Janice Mangle who says all classic literature isn’t worth printing on toilet paper.

“But we start with a review of Andy van Gust’s new film. The Belgian director is no stranger to controversy. Joining ne to discuss this Matt Trangle.” I sank in my seat a little.

“Yes it’s a polemic on the way that we treat child stars in modern society and how they can’t be considered to have grown to be serious acts until they have sexually matured.”

“But to depict Tintin the buy reporter having sex with a Dutch hooker is going a bit too far, is it not?”

I knew she would start with this. You would think a friend would ease you in. I did admire her professionalism, but this film was pure filth.

“Some think it was tastefully done. I’m not one. I know Tintin is depicted as being in his late twenties, but the scene was just inappropriate to even discuss on a programme like this with a sophisticated audience.” I really wanted to lay into the film and the work of van Gust, I knew I was being baited. The new producer had wanted to bring a new audience to the show, this meant more confrontation and I didn’t want to play his games.

“Was it the fact that Snowy was involved?” Liz was really going for it. She wanted to tell the audience about the worst type of bestiality imaginable.

“It was just plainly wrong and how it got past the censors I have no idea.” I could sense what was coming next. I was going to accused of double standards.

“You’ve been a long-time advocate of for less interference from the censors.”

“Yes I have…” What I meant was those warnings before a film that say things like ‘contains scenes of a sexual nature’ or ‘contains mild peril’ ‘or contains language that may offend.’ I didn’t get a chance to say this though.

“Don’t you think that’s hypocritical of you to say that this film needs greater censorship?”

The sensible thing would have been to counter this with my reasoned argument. There is a point in all of that we all snap, and reason fails us.

“What do you say about that...” The question mark hadn’t even metaphorically left her mouth, she didn’t get to finish her sentence but had every right to finish our friendship when I rose from my chair and pushed her to the floor. There was no going back. Everyone just seem to pause. The rush of panic prompted everyone into action. The producer run onto the set and helped Liz to her feet. The production team scurried about looking busy but not catching my eye.

I realised myself from my mic and just wondered out of the studio and into the street. A thin layer of mist filled the air. The sound of cars ejecting a spray of rain from the roads whizzed by oblivious to the nature of my gloom. I had effectively ended my career, and live in front of tens of people.

The shrill shriek of drunks sounded out like seagulls scavenging for food. The full effect of the street lights were more prominent against the darkening sky. The sound of a mobile phone working its way through some obscure symphony began to get louder until I realised it was my own. I looked at it and it was my agent.

“What the fuck was that Matt?”

“Hello” I said in response. I was punch drunk and I didn’t need the lecture that was to follow. “I’ll have a pepperoni pizza with mushrooms and extra pizza.”

“Stop pissing about.” My agent was getting fed up of my antics, ever since I said the Italians were lazy every last one of them. Of course it was taken out of context, everything is. That’s why is makes such good copy in the papers.

“Where the bloody hell are you? Meet me at Victoria, you know the usual place.” Unfortunately I did, he had a small place in the country for his clients to get away from things for a few days, to get their head down and straight. Then when the press had moved on to a new victim he released you back into the public. It was my turn to go there and face the music. I just hoped no one recognised me now.

I’d seen him do this to others and they were never the same after. Some went off the rails even more and he got rid of them or they bucked their ideas up and made him a lot of money.

Arundel Museum

It is the duty of any museum to tell a story. It maybe about a type of pottery, industry or a history. Arundel museum does this well. It helps that is has an interesting story to tell. The castle dominates the town and as a result it's history.

This isn't to say that it concentrates on it's medieval hay day. There is interesting features on the towns decline and revival, and development during the 1970s. The different time periods are neatly laid out and you get a real sense of going through it's history.

Museums should tell you stuff that you weren't aware of such as the time Arundel was a port. It is hard to imagine these days with the size of cargo ships. The river Arun really was the life blood of the town.

There is of course space given to the earls of Arundel and the dukes of Norfolk. For someone like my self these are interesting and with the museum open all year round these people come to life outside of the castle walls.

The museum itself is situated nicely between castle and the river. It stands next to the last remains of a priory run by the Blackfriars. The museum is small much like the town that is serves. It does every you need it too and helps you go about Arundel thinking about it's past and wanting to find out more.

Museums shouldn't just be about this is the definitive story now leave me alone. This is a museum that does that and sets out Arundel as a place to explore and reflect upon which is exactly what I did next.

Lewes Castle

OIt may become a little tradition that when I make my little Sussex adventures I drop my stuff off at base in Haywards Heath and head to Lewes. This was the case Tuesday when I visited Lewes Castle. I didn't get long to look around but I had enough time to get a sense of what it was like.

Lewes Castle isn't very large, in the sense of say a Porchester or Pevensey but it's compactness is what makes it so endearing. It is not obvious walking down the street towards the castle that it is there but when you turn to see the gatehouse and look up towards the castle you know history has taken place here. The Battle of Lewes in 1264 was fought nearby.

Looking over Lewes it is one of two Motte and Bailey castles with two Mottes, the other being at Lincoln. The brother-in-law of William the Conqueror William de Werenne built the castle in 1069. The mound on which it stats was made using chalk blocks to raise it even higher about the Lewes skyline.

De Werenne was the first earl of Surrey and the castle staid part of the earls of Surrey until 1347 with the death of the 7th earl and was then passed to Richard Fitzalan who's Arundel estate was far bigger. As a result Lewes Castle went into decline. The castle was broken into during the peasants revolt and all the wine was drunken or destroyed.

In many ways it is a shame that buildings like this were allowed to go into ruin but the upkeep of such just weren't seen as worth it. Luckily we now regard these heritage sites as important. They not only shaped to way our town and cities look but also tell us something about the way the country was shaped as well.

I will hopefully be back in Lewes in May to celebrate the 750th anniversary of the battle of Lewes, and will devote a bit more time to this wonderful little county town, and maybe spend a little more time exploring this castle.

An eye on Rye

There are places that look lovely and then never live up to their hype, but Rye is a place that lives up to expectation and surpasses. Having spent longer getting here than it should have taken, mostly my fault (the small fire at Hastings Railway Station didn't help) it was with real awe that I looked around the town.

I have always been and shall be a bit of a history buff. I like the architecture of anything up to and including Victorian Gothic. Rye for me then was a delight. The small streets give the place an atmosphere that you could walk around it all day if it wasn't so small.

Small is good. You can take things in on a bigger scale. Such as Ypres tower, one of the oldest buildings in the town it hints at Rye's past as one of the Cinque Ports. Which gave it self governance and freedom from taxes. Rye was a target for a number of raids by the French.

Rye is now two miles inland and shows the fickle nature of the coast line in this part of the county. winchelsea the next town down the coast was rebuilt after the old town was destroyed by the sea only for it to now be inland.

Mermaid Street is one of the most interesting and photographed streets in Sussex. There is a mix of buildings from Medieval to Georgian. This I think is why it holds it's charm. There is a hint of preservation but not in a overly handed way. The shops are mainly independent business and are homed in buildings that will be here for a long time longer.
Much of this history can be discovered in the heritage centre which has a sound and light show with a town model

Rye's literary past is also something to boast about with Henry James and EF Benson both having occupied Lamb House at some time or another. Other notable writers to have lived in the town are John Fletcher the Jacobian play write and Radclyffe Hall. For me though the fact that John Ryan the creator of 'Captain Pugwash'  lived in the town made me the happiest out of the lot. Although the fact that the Cheeky Girls live in the town makes one chuckle as well.

I am going to come back to Rye and look at more of these places in more detail but I hope for now that I have left you with enough to inspire a visit of your own.